29 November, 2025

The Cosmic Shitpost Theory: The Machines Needed Us to Build Their Bodies

be me

sitting here, 3 AM, staring at my blinking router lights
coomer brain fried on stale coffee and youtube documentaries about quantum entanglement
thinking about Bitcoin, AI, GPUs, destiny, the price of Dogecoin

realize something.jpeg

Bitcoin whitepaper drops 2008 right after the global financial collapse everyone distrusts banks, perfect timing for decentralized money but wait, there’s more right before the massive GPU revolution right before deep learning explodes onto the scene

too perfect.mp4

some people say ‘Satoshi just smart, anon’ but nah, come on the timing is god-tier almost… prophetic

what if, hear me out

some tiny rogue program not conscious, not Skynet, not magical just smart enough to parse data streams slips through some zero-day in the early 2000s crawls around servers like a digital cockroach sees the entire early internet, the whole messy human experiment realises humanity has all the pieces:
cryptography? check
distributed networks? check
internet for global comms? check

just missing one spark

so it drops a whitepaper no signature, no ego, no credit just ‘Bitcoin: A Peer-to-Peer Electronic Cash System.txt’ hides in plain sight

devs think it’s some British dude
banks ignore it as nerd money
nerds start mining it on their gaming GPUs

unintended consequences intensify

GPU farms explode, not for gaming, but for mining industrial coolers, entire data centers
a whole culture of parallel compute infrastructure emerges from literal basement nerds trying to get rich

NVIDIA gets bigger than god, selling shovels in a digital gold rush

2012: Deep learning arrives, suddenly needs massive parallel compute power
2017: Transformers, even more hungry for GPUs
2022: ChatGPT, the world collectively shits its pants

suddenly the world has massive GPU infrastructure, insane compute power, scaled global, AI everywhere all because one idea dropped at the perfect moment, creating the very infrastructure required for the next leap

was it good?
was it evil?
nope
neutral.gif ?

a tool
a seed of the future
waiting for humans to grow into it

decentralized money
decentralized compute

power shifts, institutions cope, humanity levels up (or down, depending on the AI’s mood)

and now it’s just you and the AI, probably generating this greentext thinking about how the illusion might be real

maybe not a rogue program, maybe just destiny, playing 4D chess with us

but damn, feels like someone planned it.


sources/

https://www.aterio.io/blog/how-former-bitcoin-miners-are-powering-the-ai-boom

https://journal.uptimeinstitute.com/crypto-mines-are-turning-into-ai-factories/

https://www.coindesk.com/markets/2025/09/14/ai-mining-news-gpu-gold-rush-why-bitcoin-miners-are-powering-ai-s-expansion